December 4, 2008, 1:00pm - Okay- I told you I'd keep you posted. Here's the latest. At this point it looks like Bobbi will have brain surgery at Memorial Mission on Saturday. How's that for fast action. If it seems like having brain surgery to install her Omaya Reservoir the day after a lumpar puncture seems pretty aggresive- it is. Right now her blood numbers look pretty good, so we're going to do it. The only bad thing I see (not counting all the risks) is that it means we have to delay the siding.... Anyway, I'm keeping you posted. We still have to have a pro-op consultation with the neurosurgeon. I'll keep you posted.
Well, let me bring y'all up to date. Bobbi's mental accuity seems to continue to improve. That's the good news. The bad news is that the more together she is the more she's depressed by her condition. We're learning to help her deal with it- the grandkids visiting more seems to be best. The other thing is my chores. She enjoys watching me work, although she's frustrated she can't help. This weekend we start putting on the new siding, and that seems to cheer her up quite a bit. Seeing the trim go up in the kitchen is also a big boost to her mood. I'll also get the new gas line run to the new fireplace and gas logs and that should help. The thing she can actually do is manage the seasonal decorations. We're setting up a little village on the coffee table- she loves that.
Medically, she's improving slightly. Today was the first time her blood sugar was normal. I still had to give her LANTUS (long lasting insulin) which seems to help most, even though she's on a higher dose of steroids. The steroids seem to be what brought her mind back. Dr. Pekal thought her brain was swelling and increased the daily dose. Tomorrow we have the weekly LP/ITM treatment and we anxiously await those numbers. I'll keep you posted.
Yesterday went well. Almost all Bobbi's numbers were way up. Only Hemoglobin has continued to decline slightly (a side effect of chemo). Bobbi has started weekly injections of "PoCrit" to bring that up.All her other numbers are so good we're talking about the Ommaya Reservoir again. We have a consultation with a brain surgeon Friday before her LP. I'll keep you posted.

December 3, 2008, 12:00pm - Well, it's time to take Bobbi to Doctor Pekal's. We're trying something new at home. Bobbi has not been sleeping well at night, but she sleeps fine on the couch.... So last night she slept in the couch, and I slept in the guest room where I could hear her. She says she slept pretty well. We'll see. We rigged her an eye patch to keep her eye from drying out (her unspeakable EN&T doctor said she didn't need one) and that's helped a lot also. Okay, off we go. I'll keep you posted.

December 2, 2008, 6:00pm - I think Bobbi is doing better. Here's why- she's scared. I think she's doing so much better she's now aware of how sick she is. She is more "here" than she has been for weeks, and she is very frustrated by how debilitated she is. Tomorrow we see Dr. P and we'll get the results from the last spinal fluid test, and her sister is coming tomorrow. Today she had physical therapy.

December 1, 2008, 6:00pm - Wow- it's snowing pretty hard now. We have a couple of inches on the ground and more on the decks. I'm working on trim and Bobbi is getting up soon. She was pretty tearful when Matt left, but he'll be back for Christmas. Jill will be here in a couple of days and she cheers Bobbi up plenty. I gotta have a rake around here...
Bobbi seems pretty together, but she fusses with her eye a lot. I'll go get her up now and we'll watch TV a bit. I'll keep you posted.
December 1, 2008, 1:00pm - Can you believe its December all ready? I guess it's kind of hopeful in a way....sometimes I wondered if we'd make it till December. Bobbi is fair. She's a little agitated right now, and her droopy eye bothers her. Still, Matt and her mom are with her and she’s resting well. Matt is flying home today and we’ll miss him, but I understand sister Jill is coming. Sort of a tag team I suppose. It’s snowing a lot at the house. We’d have two inches of snow on the ground if the ground was a little cooler. I’ll keep you posted.

November 30, 2008, 10:00pm - Well, we got a bit done today. Bobbi got started on the next set of cards and I got quite a bit of trim done in the kitchen. I had a problem- rain. It rained so hard I couldn't set up the miter saw, so I did it with a battery saw by hand. Oh well, enough putty and it won't look too bad. It actually look tremendously better than it did. It went so fast I ran out of trim. Here's a tip- each LOWES stocks different stuff. The trim I bought in Waynesville wasn't available in Sylva, and what I bought in Sylva doesn't match. Dang. Bobbi went with my to LOWES in spite of me spending two hours trying to talk her out of it (Hey- it's raining like crazy). We had a good time.
I'm having trouble keeping her glucose numbers low. I have to check it four times a day, and she doesn't like that much. Still, after a little fussing she will relent. All in all, not a bad day together. Now she's in bed and I will be in a minute. Y'all have a good one. I'll keep ya posted.
November 30, 2008, 9:00am - This has been a good morning. We didn't sleep a lot last night, but we got to bed early, and while we lay awake we had a pretty good time enjoying each other's company. In the wee hours, for a few hours, there wasn't any cancer and there wasn't any blood sugar problems and there wasn't any pain. We just had a pretty wonderful time talking quietly and enjoying each other's company. We got up at 7am, took care of our "morning constitutionals" and had a nice breakfast together. Getting her up, giving her the meds, checking her blood sugar (169) and giving her insulin- it all came back....but she's not as blue as she has been, and as we sit and watch HGTV and plan future home improvements Bobbi seems a little more at peace. It is a good morning. I can't believe it's almost December.
It's another rainy day, so I'll keep working indoors. I'm going to do all the kitchen trim and finish the cabinets. We started them one year ago. It was the last project Bobbi's dad helped us with, and now we're almost done. The only left will be to spray them all the same color. I'll wait for warmer weather to do that. I'll keep you posted.

November 29, 2008, 8:00pm - We had a pretty good day. Medically, we didn't sleep well at first, but then did after midnight. We've increased her steroid dosage again, and I had a heck of a time adjusting the insulin to control her blood suge....but when I checked it at 7pm it was 130. That's very good! Her spirits aren't very good, but part of that is the insulin issue. The rest is just being tired of being so sick I guess. I'll make a mess of MeiLing's pot-stickers. That will cheer her up.
Mathew and Donna (the mother) came over for a while. Bobbi and they worked on seasonal cards and I ran to LOWES to get supplies. Today I installed a new slide-out recycling bin in one of the cabinets. I also finished moving the computer table against the outside wall in the living room. At LOWES I got trim for the kitchen cabinets (kick plates, shoe-mold and quarter-round). I also got lumber to frame up around the furnace intake.
While there I found the siding Bobbi likes and a few pennies cheaper than HOME DEPOT. If it wasn't raining all weekend I'd have had a truckload delivered by now. Here's the thing- I'm just going to cover up the existing siding with HardiPlanks. Do I bother with a layer of 1/2" foam insulation? It make trimming the windows a bit more work..... Also, I would use TYVEK if it came in a 200 foot roll, but I only need 170 feet- I'd have to buy 2 150' rolls. that makes it cost $250 more than plain old 15# felt, and felt is easier for one person to install. Anyway, Bobbi is very excited about siding! That was my plan. ;-)
November 29, 2008, 1:00am - Wow- long day yesterday. Now we're up having a midnight snack (oatmeal). Yesterday went pretty well. We had a leisurely morning, picked up Bobbi's mother and brother at 11am and by 11:30am were searching (in vain) for a parking place. The procedure went well and recovery was easy (no pain this time). Still, it whiped us out pretty much. On the way home we met our friend John and his two sons Michael and Jason AND a whole cooler full of Pot-Stickers his wife made from scratch! Thank you Mei Ling!!! We got home and I cooked a pan full and we were in bed and asleep by 7pm. What an old puddy-duddy way to act. Anyway, Bobbi's numbers have rebounded quite a bit, thank God. I'll give you a run down in the morning. We've increased her steroid dose again which seems to be helping her mental clarity a lot (but fouls up her blood sugar of course). I better go check it. I'll keep you posted.

November 28, 2008, 5:00am - This has been kind of a rough night. I don't think Bobbi slept at all, so I slept badly. You can see in her picture her face swelling as the lymph nodes back up. She's just uncomfortable all the time. She says her vision is getting worse. She even suggested she might like to be admitted to the hospital while we were there today getting her LP, but she was a little agitated just then.
The good news is she did decide on the color of the metal roofing she wants- green. She wants a green tin roof and "Hardie Board" lap siding. Actually, at $6 for an 8"x12' plank, that's pretty thrifty I reckon for siding, and she likes the look. Her will be done. I'm tempted to do the siding first. The salt-box style of house is what caused our existing (crappy) siding to deteriorate, but HardiPlank is pretty much concrete- it can't be hurt by weather. I was thinking of siding first because she can actually see it go on, even put her hands on it and feel it. Let me get the trim on the bottom of the cabinets and we can start on that next....as soon as this cold snap passes. Ding- there's her heat socks. Let me carry these in to her. I'll keep you posted.

November 27, 2008, 8:00pm - We had a nice time at Bobbi's mom's house, but Bobbi got very tired. She started feeling bad and we came home a little early, even though Kim and the grand kids had just arrived. She felt really bad about it and she was apologizing to me on the way home.... which is of course crazy. She doesn't need to feel bad about feeling sick. Sheesh....and that got me thinking..... I was talking to an old friend the other day who said "don't worry- miracles can happen." I made the statement I'd pretty much given up on miracles. I just didn't know where to look.
So on the way home Bobbi is saying she's sorry for being a party pooper and it occurred to me we both agreed to "for better or for worse". So I says to her "hey, we did say for better or worse", and she says to me "so this is the worse?" "No", says I, "this is the better." After twenty five years we are still together, still best friends, driving home holding hands, glad for another chance to be together.... and there was my miracle (one of many). "Now", now is the miracle. We're together, in this moment, and in the place my family has lived since the last ice age. We're surrounded by people we love and who love us in return . When I was feeling overwhelmed taking care of Bobbi food just started appearing. I didn't have to cook supper anymore- it was a miracle. When I mentioned to a friend I needed to build a wheelchair ramp- BOOM, my friends built a wheelchair ramp (and arrange to pay for it in the process). I looked into borrowing against what's left of my 401k to help cover expenses and more miracles happened. And even after twenty five years of steadfast love and loyalty ( I tell everyone Bobbi raised one daughter and one husband) Bobbi humbles me by thanking me for taking care of her these last few months when she has never failed to do that for me for a quarter of a century. I have been blind. There are miracles everywhere I look, if I but open my eyes to see. She is a miracle, and you all are miracles and I am the luckiest man in the world. I'm sorry I forgot how to see, but I remember again. Thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you from us.

November 27, 2008, 10:00am - Well, Bobbi is pretty together today, but she still tires so quickly. I went out and dug more sweet'taters while she napped, then experimented with "sweet tater puffs" I had been thinking about. I think the recipe will need a little flour to give it more body, but for now they come out a lot like potato pancakes. I put a little praline mix on each. Now I have a pie of my own creation in the oven- Candied Sweet Potato Pie with a pecan/marshmallow topping. I better take a lot of insulin with us! LOL. Anyway, as soon as it's out of the oven I'll bundle Bobbi up and take her to her mom's. Y'all have a wonderful day. I'll keep you posted.
November 27, 2008, 8:00am - Happy Thanksgiving!!! And may I say, on behalf of my indigenous brothers and sisters- Welcome Pilgrims!!!

November 26, 2008, 8:00pm - Well, some conditionally good news today! Bobbi's "number" continue to improve. The cancer cells in her spinal fluid are down, her blood cells are up, and this evening she really seems pretty together. She even helped me whip egg whites and mash some sweet potatoes..... till it tired her out. She's napping now. Her visit with Dr. P went well. Bobbi is feeling more pain, but she's also a little more alert. The edema in her legs seems to be going down, and we're controlling her blood sugar pretty well. Tomorrow we spend the day at her mom's, and then Friday we'll go get the LP/ITM treatment. This weekend's projects are kitchen, roof and gas fireplace. Sunday might shape up to be a good visiting day. I'll keep you posted!
November 26, 2008, 6:00am - We had a pretty good night, but Bobbi did wake up a couple of times with back pain. I'm hoping this is from too much time in bed, and not from her tumors. I'd like to hear good news at Dr. P's today. Through all of this she's being so good- she hates to ask for anything and she thinks she's being a lot of trouble. I wish I could do more.....

November 25, 2008, 9:00pm - I got to go home a little early, so I've had a pretty good day with Bobbi. David made a wonderful paella and brought it over for us. He and Donna have been cooking supper for us for over a month now. It's a huge help- one less thing for me to worry about. I worry about being physically up to the task. So much of what I do involves lifting Bobbi physically into or out of some pretty awkward positions.... I'm just glad we have a Caravan and not a Prius- I'd live at the chiropractors. Tomorrow the girls go see Dr. P. I'll keep you posted.
November 25, 2008, 6:00am - Once again, the amazing bunch of people I work with has come through for Bobbi and I. They have had a fundraiser and helped us out with expenses. I'm so blessed to work with those folks. In facts, so many people have been so generous and kind. It really keeps me going. Thank you all. I am so humbled and grateful, I really don't have the words (imagine- me at a loss).
I don't know what's happening. Bobbi is complaining about pain more, especially in her head and ear (the same ear). She also seems more fearful. I spend even more time trying to comfort her (and me). Maybe it's the weather. We haven't heard yet about the cancer cell count from the last lumbar puncture.We don't know if the ITM treatments are doing any good yet. I think we find out today. I look forward to Thanksgiving- almost all of Bobbi's brothers and sisters will be with us at her mother's house. That will give her spirits a big boost. I also need to start cooking some side dishes. I guess we need to have sweet-tater casserole (featuring our own organic sweet potatoes). Then Friday we have another LP, so she'll be whiped out till Sunday. I'll keep you posted.

November 24, 2008, 8:00am - Well, we've been up a bit, had breakfast, taken meds and now Bobbi's back in bed. We seem to not be managing pain as well, or maybe there are just new pains. I gotta go to work. I'll keep you posted.

November 23, 2008, 3:00pm - Bobbi, her mom and I are having a relaxing day. We stayed in bed till 12noon listening to NPR. When Bobbi's mom came over we got up. Now we're watching HGTV while I work on the cabinets. Today I moved the box spring (I took it out to lower the bed) into my office to store it. Now I'm working on the breakfast bar. I've built the framing, and just glued up the laminate cover. Bobbi is lying down on the couch and they are chatting quietly as they critique the shows they watch. Yesterday was an easy day. Only a few people came by. David, Donna and Jordan came over for supper, and then we watched The Return of the Pink Panther. That was a pretty long day for Bobbi. Bobbi's pretty frustrated that she can't help, or do projects by herself. Still, she enjoys seeing progress.

November 22, 2008, 9:00am - We're up and getting ready. Today will be a quiet day, so come on over. I think short visits are in order- Bobbi is very weak. She's a little disoriented, but she'd love to see people who love her.

November 21, 2008, 3:00pm - Well, today Bobbi is resting. This morning she went to her local EN&T doctor (we had a phone call that said "be sure to be early", but when she got there they said "oh, that was an old appointment. We should have cancelled it." They didn't. Anyway, the doctor saw her. He said she wasn't a candidate for the gold eyelid weight yet. We seem to be managing eye dryness okay, so he asked to see her in January. That seemed like a pretty hopeful appointment to make.
Now Bobbi is asleep, and I'm working on the kitchen cabinets. If it warms up this weekend I'll start making measurements for the new roof. I think we've decided (meaning Herself) on red roofing tin. I made a motion for copper-colored, but red is a nice color too. Once the roof is on (and extended- who though "Salt box" with no overhang was a good design???) then we can put on new siding. New kitchen, roof and siding have big stars beside them on my "To Do" list she made me.
VISITING- I'm going to hazard a guess that tomorrow will be a good day to visit. I'm going to propose that visits be between 10am and Noon or between 4pm and 6pm....something like that. I'll keep her resting today, and she might have pretty good strength for that, plus she can take a nap in between. Call first if you're planning on coming, but I think we can plan on those two periods. I'll keep you posted. Do Not Bring Deserts (except for Tapioca)! We're up to our armpits in pie, pudding, apple crisps and cheesecake, but we can always find room for Bobbi's favorite- Tapioca.
November 21, 2008, 7:00am - BRRRRRR.... Another snowy morning, but we got less than an inch. Mostly it's windy and cold. Bobbi's blood sugar was the lowest in many months this morning- 174. Part of that is better management, but I think it's mostly reduced doses of steroids.
Today she goes to see her EN&T doc. If she's up to it she might join me for my department lunch. We'll see. While we were in the hospital yesterday it seems my coworkers had another fund raiser for us (reckon the heard about them $400 cushions????). I'm really lucky to be on a team of such people. When I grow up, I want to be just like them... well, most of them. Maybe not exactly like Mark (not that Mark, the other Mark).

November 20, 2008, 6:00pm - Holy moly, what a long day! Well, we got up early, met Donna (the mother) and went to the orthopedic supply. It took several hours to fit Bobbi's new magic leg, but now she has an excellent solids ankle support for her paralyzed foot. Then I went and got a cushion for her wheelchair. Note- Doctors usually do not remember to write "cushion" when the write a script for a wheelchair, and if they don't insurance won't pay. A good cushion costs $100. A great cushion costs $400. Remind the doctor to write cushion. Then we got to the hospital an hour early... and spent 45 minutes waiting for a handicapped parking place. We never got one. One opened up, but another lady (I use the term loosely) jumped us and stole the spot. I went to the deck and parked three levels down. Then we waited another hour for the procedure, and there were frequent delays. This one didn't go well. Bobbi was very uncomfortable, so we spent longer in recovery. We just now got home and I just got her to bed.
Bobbi's spirits are up right now. I credit chocolate, milk, a huge bunch of flowers and a select group of pharmaceuticals. She was really down this morning, but she's better now. Now we wait and see about the results of the fluid draw. We'll compare the cancer count with the one from when this treatment started and see if it's doing her any good. I sure hope so. Anyway, lil'gal is resting now. I'll keep you posted.
November 20, 2008, 7:00am - "Good Morning! Remember- happy days are approaching, and I love you all." There's a little message for y'all from our lil'gal. We're up early getting ready to go to the hospital in Asheville to get a lumbar puncture and spinal chemo. We're also going to get Bobbi's high tech for brace. That's a pretty full day. Today "we" are a little less together, I guess because we're tired from yesterday. That's no problem today- Bobbi will need to spend 24 hours in bed to recover from the LP. Anyway, we have to get ready, load the van and leave. I'll keep you posted!

November 19, 2008, 8:00pm - How about a little good news? Well, let's try this out. First of all, both Home Health and the physical therapist came this morning. Bill, the PT guy, works quite a bit with Bobbi. Kelly, the nurse, had trouble with Bobbi's chemo port when she tried to flush it. This was potentially very bad (but it turned out good!). Then, we had a good doctor's visit at Dr. P's today! Dr. Pekal agreed Bobbi seemed better today (me too). When we did her blood work it only took one "stick", and all her numbers were way up. Her platelets were up to 74k (more than doubled since last Wednesdays 31k) and her white blood cells are up to 2.1 (up from .9 last Wednesday). These numbers are still half what we'd like them to be, but it's a huge improvement, and it means she can tolerate a LP/ITM treatment tomorrow. Then, the chemo nurse was able to clear the clot that had blocked the chemo port. We've decided not to implant the Ommaya reservoir right now. While her numbers are up, they are not high enough for her to tolerate any surgery right now. We'd need to get her platelets up over 120k (that's still a little low). Speaking of surgical procedures- at my work Lloyd and Cherie got our email server running with a little help from Sean and Trent. Hooray! Did you wonder why I haven't been answering emails? It's because I didn't have any!
To celebrate I did a lot of the chores Bobbi had for me, and I even threw in a few surprises. I am continuing to repair the antique oak china cabinet. I fixed the wonky storm door so that it not only closes now but also seals! I started cutting the formica-like covering I need to finish the cabinets, then I rearranged a lot of the plants Bobbi's acquired in the last few weeks, and as a special treat for her I built new lamps from kits I got at LOWES. Bobbi liked the one I made last week, so I made another and set them up like end table on our couch in the living room, and then I put plants on them. Bobbi clapped like a little kid at the carnival when she saw them....then instructed me on how to correct my plant selection ;-)
It may be Bobbi might be up to visits this weekend. We'll see. My old friend Eddie Hollifield and his son Matt (Matt is an ASM in our scout troop and Eddie is Boy Scout Camp Ranger) came by this afternoon, but Bobbi was too worn out for visitors. If her counts improve she might be better this weekend. Tomorrow we also get her new space-aged 3-d computer generated laser-scanned ankle brace. I'll keep you posted.
I want to thank everyone again for you love and kindness. The generosity of our friends and family is boundless, and I am humbled by your outpouring of love. It is only your support that has kept Bobbi and I from collapsing under this staggering load. As when great acts of heroism rise out of horrible situations, so too do these great gifts of love occur in the midst of the terrible illness Bobbi bravely fights. I don't know what I'd have done without you. Yes I do- I would have failed my wife. Thank you. A special thanks goes out to cousin Pam (okay- technically she's a sister-in-law's sister-in-law, but that works out to "cousin status" 'round here) and team who walked in the 60 mile walk in Texas. They even dedicated a ribbon for us! I guess that makes them honorary Knocka-Walkas!
November 19, 2008, 7:00am - Good Morning! We're having a nice morning here. We're up and we've already eaten breakfast (soft boiled eggs and bagels). Today is the big meeting with Dr. P, and we're not going to DUKE (it's too hard so soon after the last trip). If today goes well we still have an LP/ITM treatment at St. Joe's tomorrow. Bobbi sends her love to you all. "Hello! I love you all" says Bobbi.

November 18, 2008, 8:00pm - Well, we're having a nice evening at home... mostly because my coworkers kicked me out and made me go home while they stayed late and did work I should be going. I told you I was lucky. Before I left I was given a giant card, hat and a set of pink glasses from our Girl Scout Troop! We were very pleased.
Bobbi and I had a nice supper which Aunt Mary cooked and Donna delivered via Uncle Roy (I think I have that right). We quietly talked about how scarred each of us were, and said the things lovers do when they find an uncertain future. "I'm scarred." I am too, my love. "I don't want to go." We don't want you to go, and nobody says you're going anywhere yet, but it's a journey we all make sometime.....
Tomorrow we talk to Dr. Pekal and see what the future brings. We had an appointment at Duke to see the oncologist there, but that's too hard a trip to make. We'll just hope all the doctors talk to each other. I'll keep you posted.
November 18, 2008, 8:00am - Our sister Donna is here, so I'm going to work. I got Bobbi up a little early and made a nice quiche, and now she's drinking hot chocolate and watching TV. Lying down all the time makes her back hurt. Kim is coming over with Kira, so Bobbi can have a nice day off!

November 17, 2008, 7:00pm - Oh, another bit of good news. It seems our insurance has started paying DUKE. It seems that DUKE (and Mission) charged more for certain procedures than the plan was willing to pay, and they had to haggle. It seems this is a normal haggle. The good news is the plan gets a lower price so we don't have to pay the difference. That's awfully good news. I'll keep you posted.
November 17, 2008, 5:00pm - Bobbi had some good news today. Here platelets are up to 51k (31k last Monday) and her white blood cells have come up significantly. It seems Dr. P wants to go ahead with surgery to implant an Ommaya reservoir under her scalp. This will eliminate the need for both the lumbar puncture and the trip to Asheville to get it. This is actually a kind of hopeful thing, I guess. I'm not sure- I hardly remember what those look like. This is brain surgery, though not highly invasive. Bobbi's mom thinks the surgery would be too hard on Bobbi, but I think it will be less trauma then one LP, let alone who knows how many more. Anyway, we'll meet with Dr. P to discuss it on Wednesday.
I want to thank you all so much for your love and support. Some of you have been here before. Everyone else, I wish you never know. We'll have to see about visits. Remember- at this time last week we though she was going to the hospital for transfusions. If Bobbi's blood keeps getting more normal then we'll have a party!
November 17, 2008, 8:00am - Well, we had a long night. Neither of us slept real well. Now we're up and ready to go to Dr. P's for some blood work. This might be a good morning- Bobbi seems pretty much here today. She even knew what day of the week it is. Donna (the sister) is here to help me, and when Donna the momma comes I might bop into work. This is all very hard on Bobbi's mom, as it is on all of us. Donna brought Bobbi a "grabber". Sometimes she drops things, and they might as well be on the moon- but now she can retrieve them! Now Donna and Bobbi are arranging "the jungle" while we wait for the Dr's office to call back.

November 16, 2008, 11:00pm - Long day...not a bad day, just long. Bobbi dozed mostly, and I stayed right beside her. I really can't leave her- she's pretty helpless, and pretty embarrassed about that. Today she was very confused, and we both felt pretty scared. We've cried together a lot. I'm sorry, I know I need to be strong for her. I've got hot pads and lotion warming. I'm going to go massage her back. She really likes that.
November 16, 2008, 8:00am - Okay, so here's what's happening. First of all, we have had some successes. We've gotten Bobbi's weight up from 106 to 123 in less that two weeks. Not bad. Also, her platelet count has stopped dropping and actually risen a little. It's up to 32k. It still needs to be 60k for any more chemo. We will discuss a platelet transfusion this coming week.
Now the not so good stuff. We're all pretty devastated. Things do not look good and everybody is suddenly aware of that. Actually, I've been devastated for the last nine months, but when the spinal tumors were found that was pretty much a knock-out for me. We don't really know any more. Nobody knows time frames or treatment options or anything else yet, medically speaking. As far a Bobbi goes- that's easy. She likes the grand kids and plants and friends and family, and she'd like me to get on with projects (like the kitchen remodel). So that's what we're doing. We went shopping most of the way home it seemed to me. We got plants and planters and holiday decorations. For now, life goes on, and we will live!
November 16, 2008, 3:00am - Brrrrr- it's cold, and it snowed a little. I'm heating some chicken pot pie for our lil'gal. I'll fill you in later.

November 15, 2008, 11:00pm - Okay, we're home. We got home a little after 6pm. I got Bobbi some supper and got her to bed and we've been napping, and while we're awake I am reading to her. I'll bring you up to speed in the morning.
November 15, 2008, 6:00am - We are here at Sarah house enjoying the family- especially Rikki! Okay, I suppose you are curious about the trip to DUKE. Well, it rained all day, and the drive was stressful, but uneventful. Bobbi saw Dr. Tucci and Dr. Tibbets. They cleaned her ear out, including the failed ear drum graft. Dr. Tucci said..... well, she said that as she treated Bobbi in September at the hospital, and everything they did that should have helped didn't she began to suspect that perhaps the ear was not the problem, but cancer was. When Bobbi returned for last month's follow up and Bobbi's facial problem was unchanged, that's why she suggested a lumbar puncture. At the time we were nonplussed, but she turned out to be right after all. So, she (Dr. Tucci) told us that she was always happy to see Bobbi or answer and questions we had, but that further trips to Duke to see her were not likely to help and would just be a physical burden. She would consult with our local Otolaryngologist Dr. Douglas in Sylva. That's when Bobbi and Donna knew.... well, in her subtle way Dr. T gave us the worst possible news. We cried together for hours.
So, it's good news- bad news time again. We don't have to shlep to Duke again. We're going to concentrate on keeping Bobbi comfortable and giving her any wish she has. Sarah and Paul want to send us to Africa or on a cruise or someplace special. We'll talk about it and see what Bobbi wants to do. The only trip we talked about was out west to see Matt and Alayne and Suze and Darin, but that may be too hard on Bobbi. I think she'd just like to go sit with the grandkids. We'll see. I'm sorry I don't have better news, y'all.

November 14, 2008, 6:00am - Okay, we're getting ready for the trip. I don't know if I'll be able to update much before we get home, but I expect we'll be able to post updates at Sarah's house tonight. I'll keep you posted. Can you believe we have had nearly 14,000 hits? Wow!

November 13, 2008, 9:30pm - Well, Bobbi is asleep and I'm packing. Tomorrow we get up early, get blood work done at Dr. P's before 9am, pick up Donna (the mother) and then boogie down to DUKE. We expect Bobbi's platelets to be around 30k, but if they are lower we may go to the hospital for a platelet transfusion. That would mean blowing off the DUKE trip- we don't want to do that. We'll see. Bobbi was pretty much "here" today, but also kind of down. Cousin Faith and her husband Bill came up from Atlanta and we had a nice visit. That cheered Bobbi up some. Sorry- I forgot to take a picture.
In the mean time, our local cancer support group gave us a check to help with travel expenses. It is very much appreciated. Also, it seems like with a little prodding our insurance will pay the DUKE bill. I'll keep you posted.
November 13, 2008, 12:30pm - Bobbi's platelets were low, so no LP today. She's home with Donna and Donna having a relaxing day. Tomorrow we'll get another blood test, then rush to DUKE to see Dr. Tucci for a ear surgery follow-up. After that, if she's okay, we'll go to Charlotte/Cornelius and spend the night with sister Sarah and clan. We'll get to see our little doggie. She's gotten so big. Sarah has been taking her to classes. Bobbi is even talking about bringing her home with us. If it will make Bobbi happy I'm all for it.

November 12, 2008, 5:30pm - Okay, good news/bad news thing. We don't have a LP tomorrow because her platelets are still dropping. However, they only dropped 10%- they were 31k today. The Leukovorin seems to be working. More good news- the Barium Swallow test showed the problem was just dry mouth associated with radiation. There was no fungus detected by her EN&T doc yesterday, so we can stop the fungicide. We'll just continue Magic Mouthwash and a few other gargles. We need to keep an eagle eye on her (Bobbi) and make sure she's not exposed to anything and make sure she doesn't run a fever. If she does develop a fever we'll need to put her in the hospital for IV antibiotics. We'll see visitors for short visits if you haven't been exposed to anything....we might give you a mask to wear.
Friday we go to Duke for a follow-up. Between now and then we'll test her blood again. We may schedule a platelet transfusion in the next week or so. I heard back from a Holistic cancer center. They were not excited about treating someone who is at stage four and has had several rounds of chemo and radiation.
November 12, 2008, 6:30am - Well, little gal is up and eating her oatmeal, then I'll lift her into the tub for a nice bath. We're having a good morning together. Today she gets her swallow test and then blood work. Friday we drive to DUKE for a surgery follow-up. let me go give her the7am medications.
Faith brought up a good point- a transfusion to boost Bobbi's platelet count. This is a new symptom, and an expected side effect of her ITM treatments. We have discussed the fact she might need a transfusion of platelets. In the meantime she is on the Rescue drug to boost platelet production. We'll see how she does.

November 11, 2008, 3:30pm - What he have here is a failure to communicate. So Bobbi and I were at the hospital by 10am (1/2 hour early) and we got all registered and taken to X-Ray and waited.....when someone came out and asked us for our order (BLT and coffee, please). Order? It seems that nobody actually sent in an order for the test. They made the schedule, they just forgot the paperwork, and since it was a holiday the home health nurse (who actually requested the test) was not available. The EN&T doc wouldn't write the order because he hadn't seen Bobbi recently, and we tried everyone else we could think of. So it goes. Anyway, we went and saw the local EN&T doc at 1pm and (drum roll please) he ordered a Barium Swallow Test. Anyway, we'll try again tomorrow.
By the way, I was wrong- Bobbi's platelets are down to 34k. They need to be 60k to get the ITM treatment, so it looks like no lumbar puncture on Thursday, but we are going to Duke on Friday. This is EN&T follow up from her surgery. Good think our insurance at least pays the outpatient clinic claims. I'll keep you posted.
November 11, 2008, 5:30am - Good morning. It's Veteran's Day. It's also Bobbi's father's birthday. We miss him- we miss all our dads. Today I take Bobbi to the local hospital for a Barium Swallow Test, then it's off to the EN&T doctor. We have an appointment at DUKE to see the big EN&T doc who did Bobbi's surgery, but a long trip is hard on her. We'll see if it's still called for. Yesterday Bobbi's platelets were 53,000, and that's not enough for chemo on Thursday. There may be no LP this week. I'll keep you posted.

November 10, 2008, 1:30pm - I just spoke to Donna (the mother), and Bobbi's steroid dose is now cut to one quarter what it was. I expect a huge decrease in side effects from this. Also, her platelets count was too low for a lumbar puncture on Thursday, unless the RESCUE drug brings it back up. We'll see on Wednesday. I'll keep you posted.
November 10, 2008, 10:30am - Well, the girls are out shopping! Maybe that's the best therapy. After decreasing, then raising her steroid dose, we're now decreasing it again. Good! I'm not sure what it's doing (she doesn't have any swelling to control) unless it's the ear thing. However, it does whack her glucose like crazy, so any decrease is welcome. What do I know? I don't even play a doctor on TV....
Oh, I forgot to keep you posted. last night the Cooper clan came over with cheesecake and KUNG FU PANDA. We all had a wonderful time watching it. It seems the Coopers think the panda, voice by Jack Black, reminds them of me somehow (or vice reversa), so we watched it. Dang-It, I think I see a resemblance too!
November 10, 2008, 7:30am - Some days she's here, other days not so much. She not so much here this morning, but at least she's comfortable. She's on Oxycodone and Oxycotin- small wonder. Soon her mom and Donna (the other one) will be here to take her to Dr. P's for blood work. We'll see what her platelets are doing.

November 9, 2008, 3:30pm - LOL.... So I'm going through our bills... Bobbi handled the books before, but she's not able to now... so I'm going through the bills and I find a notice from our insurance carrier. It seems the denied our claim for Bobbi's hospitalization at Duke and we owe $57,000. I don't mean to sound ungrateful- they did pay the outpatient bill ($125.00). Nine days at Duke, that's $6,500 a day...well, that includes several nuclear procedures and surgery on her ear. Denied. Maybe it's a typo. What does Kanawha mean anyway? Anyway, wanna know the real irony? The visit had nothing to do with treating her cancer, it was all about the ear infection. I guess we're going to put the log cabin on hold for a while.
November 9, 2008, 12:30pm - This morning wasn't as good as yesterday, but Bobbi rested well. She was up late last night- maybe I tired her out. Dave, Donna and Jordan came over and made lasagna, then we watched Captains Courageous till 10pm. Now Donna (the mother) is here and the girls are in chatting.
Today I'm working on the kitchen cabinets. I'll put up trim and laminate the ones with unfinished ends. Bobbi has been asking about that.

November 8, 2008, 4:30pm - - It has been a good day so far. Bobbi and I had a wonderful morning together. We stayed in bed and talked, ate oatmeal and hot chocolate and listened to NPR. Later Donna (the sister) came over and David and I ran to the hardware store for materials, then I worked on the stairs at the head of the ramp. Kim, Kira, Ethan and Sonny were over by then, so I was comfortable being outside with Bobbi inside. Then Kim went home and Uncle Roy came by. Now Donna (the mother) is here.
Bobbi is not tolerating the spinal chemo well...or rather, she is, but the common side effect of low platelets means she'll only get one treatment a weak for a while. Next week she'll have a "barium swallow test" to see what the cause of her swallowing problem is. In the meantime, I think she's a little better....it's hard to be sure. I admit to being susceptible to wishful thinking. If wishing only made it so..... Keep those prayers coming!

November 7, 2008, 8:30pm - Bobbi is enjoying some wonderful Tapioca! Dang, it's hard to get her to eat. Today I got some BOOST and she actually likes it. Donna (the sister) stayed with Bobbi till Kim and crew came over, including baby Kira! Then I came home and we had a nice evening together. Now I'll put her back to bed.
November 7, 2008, 6:30am - We had a good night, more or less. I'm afraid I fussed at her a lot. You see, she's not eating well, and she's lost 60 pounds in the last three or four months. She's down to 109 pounds. A lot of that is the swallowing thing. I've tried a lot of tactics, and last night I tried fussing. It didn't work well......all that's left is to feed her by hand. Maybe I'll do the old "here's the airplane, now open up the hanger". Let me go make breakfast.

November 6, 2008, 4:30pm- Dr. Q called after we got home just now. He's still keeping track of Bobbi's progress thru Dr. P, but he asked us to make an appointment to see him. He offered some suggestions about the swallowing thing. It seems there's a common fungal infection associated with chemo and/or radiation to the spine. We'll mention that to Dr. Pekal next week. Speaking of which, Katie from Dr. P's office called and asked us to come in on Monday before the LP/ITM treatment. I told her we were told Mondays procedure was cancelled, but Katie did not agree. I guess that will get straightened out before Monday. I'll keep you posted.
November 6, 2008, 3:30pm- Sheesh- what a day. Okay, well, here's the latest. Mondays pathology on the LP came back positive for cancer cells in the spinal fluid. Bobbi found out from Dr. P yesterday. Also, either the radiation or the ITM (or both) are whacking her blood platelet counts. Last week her count was 124k in Dr. P's office, then 104k before the LP on Monday, and today before her LP it was 66k. 60k is the cut off number- no chemo when it's that low. So, because of this we've cancelled next Monday's LP and ITM. I tell y'all, it's the Rope-a-Dope. We keep swinging and swinging and cancer just stands there grinnin at us. We got to beat this %$@$#@$% disease.
Last night Bobbi had physical therapy. He told us to get a new chair and an orthotic device to support her paralyzed left ankle. So today, we got both! Actually, we got the new wheelchair and had Bobbi fitted for the AFO (ankle-foot orthotic). It was very cool. They use lasers to make a 3D model of her leg, and they'll make the thing custom for her. If she doesn't have one and her foot stays droopy the rear tendons will contract and she'll never walk on it again without surgery. The new chair is a pain in the neck compared to the old one, we just needed one with adjustable leg supports. It's also longer and wider and a pain in the neck getting around in the house. Sherry and Tommy- thank you so much for getting us the first chair!

November 5, 2008, 6:00am- It was not a bad night. Bobbi slept till now mostly. She feels like she's getting a sore throat. Dang, I hate for her to get sick while she's so ill....how ironic does that sound? Well, we see Dr. P in a few hours, she can assess our patient.

November 4, 2008, 8:00pm- We voted today! It was awesome, they came right to the car and let Bobbi vote without getting out. Now we're home and we're taking a nap. We have a new drug in the arsenal- Leukovorin. I guess this methatrexate isn't the most benign of drugs. She's still having trouble swallowing. Tomorrow we go see Dr. Pekal. I wonder if Dr. Quaranta and Dr. Jones are still consulting.... I'll keep you posted.
I guess most people know I'm a big WEST WING fan. I think it was the best show ever on television. I was watching some of the last season which has a character played by a little bitty actress named Kristin Chenoweth, who is actually a pretty good singer. I knew this because I remembered a song she did from WICKED, a sort of musical adaptation of The Wizard Of Oz (which was our theme for Halloween). Kristin plays Glenda, the part I chose for Bobbi. Funny how things are connected. Anyway, I Googled the actress and WICKED and found the song I remembered. I then printed the lyrics and just read them to Bobbi. We both wept. I guess it's the perfect song for me about her- FOR GOOD. You might like to watch the performance on YouTube. Here's the lyrics.
November 4, 2008, 8:00am- Good Morning. Well, we had a long night, but not a bad one. Nights are long here. We go to bed early, but have to get up at 11pm for meds, and then usually once or twice in the night for "other functions". This morning Bobbi's glucose was 246- pretty good for her having had oatmeal a few hours ago. Donna (Lambert) is here helping me until Jill and Donna (Livengood) come over. In a few hours we'll allow Bobbi up and see if she wants to putter around. We'll keep you posted.
Bobbi is complaining about her ear again. She feels pain from time to time and says it feels "crackly". What the heck, is my girl ever going to catch a break? I feel like Joe Frazier with Ali pulling the Rope-A-Dope on me....except it's not on me directly. I am coming full circle- drawing on tradition and culture to make it through this. Rejoice in each new day, sing the sun up and be glad for what beauty surrounds me. Beauty does surround me, and in many forms- the care of friends, the prayers of loved one, the tough little Ohio gal who still wakes up besides me. I am the richest man I know.

November 3, 2008, 4:00pm- Long day. Well, we were up at 5:30am getting ready (it takes us a while) and on the road before 7am. We got to the hospital at 8:05- a new record! However, because Dr. P was concerned about Bobbi's white cell count we had to wait for lab work, so they drew blood at 9am. We got the results back a couple of hours later and she was having her LP and ITM by 11:30am. The bad thing is it meant she was on her butt for five hours straight. Still, she toughed it out like she always does. We had a new interventional radiologist today and he was great! No post procedure pain like yesterdays, and no rolling around to distribute the chemo. We spent a while in recovery and I had her home in bed by 2:30pm.
Long day. Bobbi is kind of confused lately. We're not sure if it's a symptom or a side effect, but she is getting quite a bit of narcotics. It's the same with her difficulty swallowing, we're not sure if it's a symptom or a side effect. We'll have the results of today's LP by Thursday....probably a couple of hours after the next procedure is already done. Because of the effect of the chemo drug on white cell production Bobbi will get a treatment tomorrow called RESCUE. I forget the medical chemical drug name- sorry. She also starts physical therapy tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.
About five minutes after we got home Dennis "Rosy" Rose came over with a nail gun and four dozen ballisters for the ramp. He also let me use a jig he built to space the pickets and even gave us nails and screws. Jill helped me nail them up. The railing is 19 feet long (too long for factory lumber. Yesterday I made the cap rail from two 10' 2x4s, but it looked bad, so today I used a 16' 2x4 and a short piece. It looks perfect! Jill was a big help! Thanks you Dennis.

November 2, 2008, 4:00pm- Well, what in the world..... I just got done talking to Dr. P, Bobbi's medical oncologist. She just got the results of the lumbar puncture (henceforth referred to as the LP). The Cytology is negative for cancer cells in the fluid- according to the LP she doesn't have cancer on her spine.... except her last blood test showed her "total protein" 192, but it should be 45 or so, so there's something going on. Because of this Dr. P hesitated to continue the intrathecal methotrexate chemotherapy (I'm gonna call that "ICM" from now on). However, you (we/they) really need three clean lumbar punctures free of cancer cells to rule out cancer in the spine, but the MRI showed something. The procedure is not without risks, and now Dr. P doubts whether it's helpful or called for. We talked about it and decided to do it anyway as long as Bobbi's white blood cell count is high enough....except we'll be there at 8am anyway, so we're going to need the hospital to do a blood test "stat" before the procedure. Bobbi knows all this stuff now- any wonder why she's upset? Me too, for that matter.
I did finish installing the lower horizontal 2x4s on the ramp railing, so we can install the ballisters now.
November 2, 2008, 11:00am- Okay, the girls are on the road. They're going shopping for a new comfy robe, and I'll going to LOWES to get some stuff to finish the railing. Bobbi seems a little confused today, but she is well medicated, so there you go. The new long-lasting Insulin seems to help too.
November 2, 2008, 6:00am- Dang, I have to make a November page, don't I? Shhhh....., she's asleep....

November 1, 2008, 8:00pm- Well, I got a good start on the railing. Bobbi, her mom and sister got some house keeping chores done, but I think Bobbi's more agitated today. I'll go back now and try to keep her comfortable. She's kind of fragile today.
November 1, 2008, 11:00am- OMG, it's November already. Can you believe it? We had a pretty good night. I was pretty sore, and Bobbi was tired. Her mom and sister kept her doing projects all day till 7pm or so. One cool thing they did was make her the word DREAM out of birch twigs, sinew and feathers. It's pretty cool.
Today I'll finish up the wheelchair ramp. I have named it the "Bobbi Walk". I have already patch the asphalt to connect the landing to the driveway, and I'll then build some railings. I already put down a roll of roofing to make a non-skid surface. It's pretty awesome, and it will be even more so when we're done.

October 31, 2008, 5:00pm - Holy Smokes, look what my friends did! Dennis, Bob, Kenny, Julie and Terry came over and built us a wheelchair ramp! It's beautiful! I have to program a special slide show just to show what a great job they did. Bobbi, her mom and sister (and me also) were blown away by their kindness, and all the others who made it possible including my boss Cherie and our friend Lloyd. Even Fran and the vice-chief and no doubt countless others helped out. We're more grateful than we have words to say, but I don't guess we should be surprised.
October 31, 2008, 6:00am - Good morning! It's a pretty good morning here. Bobbi was able to sleep all night mostly. She was in a little pain when she woke up at 6am, but a pill helped that. I'm a little worried that she continues to have trouble swallowing, but hopefully, as we get into the chemo treatments, that will subside. David and Donna have been busy feeding us supper this week, and it was all delicious- especially the meatloaf Donna was not happy with. We were happy. Last night Dave's friend Rick brought over ribs and fixins- yum yum!
We are aware of all of our loved ones, especially those also under the weather, and we want everyone to know you are in our hearts. Aunt Lib recovering from a heart attack, Aunt Betty back in the hospital with here breast cancer and brother Lloyd who hurt his back starting a lawn mower. The "Lambert Back" is a malady we know all too well, I just need it to behave a while longer....
Today is the day my friends at work come and built us a wheelchair ramp. Isn't that a loving thing to do? I tell ya, everybody loves Bobbi. We had some good news. The costume I made Lloyd won BST COSTUME at the community halloween event. I don't know how many other adults were in costume, many dozens I expect. Pretty cool. Also brother Darin sent pictures of my nephew Liam (they're all the way in Oregon). He's a fireman for Halloween- what a good lookin kid. The northwest coast is the first destination on our travel itinerary.

October 30, 2008, 6:00pm - It's turned out to be a good day. The day was absolutely beautiful- clear almost dark blue mountain sky, mild temperatures. Bobbi's mother and sister Jill made a plant corner for Bobbi while I went to work. While at work I helped Lloyd turn a green sweatshirt and brown sweat pants into a pretty good Scarecrow costume. Now were sitting in the living room while Bobbi lies on the couch. She isn't supposed to get up (except to the bathroom) for 24 hours after her lumbar puncture. The girls are really good company for Bobbi. When we're alone we tend to just start each other crying (I'm so weak). This is better.
October 30, 2008, 2:00pm - Well, we're home. We got up at 6am and made it to the hospital on time, in spite of parking snafus. Bobbi had her lumber puncture- it went fine. She was in a lot of discomfort afterwards, but that's from the chemo drug. She has to roll over a few times to spread it out, then the pain subsided. They took several samples from the lumbar puncture. We should know the results be Monday afternoon.
Bobbi will be on this round of chemo for at least three weeks, Mondays and Thursdays. The good news is once we're in a rhythm we should be home by noon...but she still has to lay flat for 24 hours. This is serious- the tumors are not only paralyzing her left lower leg but may be causing difficulty swallowing. We'll just have to hope the chemo helps. I'll keep you posted.
October 30, 2008, 7:00am - Okay, we're off to the hospital for the lumbar puncture. We don't think Bobbi will be admitted, but we don't know if we'll start the chemo this time. They don't like to give it close to radiation, and Bobbi had radiation on Tuesday.... but if Dr. P and Dr. Q decide to we may. I'll keep you posted.
Remember, we love you all.

October 29, 2008, 3:30pm - Okay, I just talked to the doctor's office. Bobbi's procedure is at St. Joseph's tomorrow morning at 9am, then every Monday and Thursday for a while. We're also going to have Cherokee Home Health come give our girls physical therapy. I'll keep you posted.
October 29, 2008, 3:00pm - Okay, we are home for the day I think. Here's the deal. The radiation can not hit all of Bobbi's spinal tumors. We think there is at least one in the lumbar area which accounts for her left foot paralysis. We think that there is a cervical tumor contributing to Bobbi's facial paralysis. I don't know why "we" can't go lower on the spine with radiation, but the upper region is too close to where she had whole brain radiation. So our plan is to start the intrathecal methotrexate chemotherapy. Now, the thing is, what Bobbi has is breast cancer on her spine (huh). This kind of chemotherapy is not meant for that and is not as effective as if she had something like leukemia, but we're short on options. To do this procedure we need a interventional radiologist to do the lumbar puncture, and that means a trip to the hospital (probably Memorial Mission in Asheville). We'll do a couple of rounds of that chemo and see where we are. As for now, Dr. P upped her pain management medicine and gave her something for acid reflux. Bobbi's sister Jill has arrived and I am grateful for everyone's help. We all love Bobbi, don't we?
October 29, 2008, 7:00am - Long night. Bobbi's discomfort is increasing, and it's hard to keep her comfortable. I'll keep you posted.