Kim Ethan and Bobbi make eggs!

Jordan, Becky, Donna, Dave, Bobbi, Libby and Johanna

Bobbi says "Thank You" (click the above link to view a video)

Uncle Roy and Bobbi test the rocking chairs.

Get yer pink on!

Don't take my picture!

One more and I'm done... oh no I'm not.

Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy.  Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion.  Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come.  Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.  - Bahai Prayer for healing.

March 25, 2008, 9pm- Sorry this is a late post. I guess today was just a rough day. Bobbi's mom drove her all over- to radiation, the accountants, wig stores, you name it. Thank you Donna. I guess shopping for wigs after getting I don't know how many rads of radiation and generally feeling the cumulative effects of the treatments would wear anybody down. Today was just a sad day for "our girl". I'm making a nice supper now after getting her to sleep for a while. She hasn't really lost much hair, but she just feels bad I guess, and a person can't stay strong all the time. She does appreciate you all- every thing you've said and all you've done and all you've sent. Thank you from both of us. Hugh

March 24, 2008- Well, today Bobbi is off to find a wig she likes (if possible). She's never even happy with her own hair, but maybe she'll have better luck with someone else's... Just kidding hon. This weekend was a good weekend. I got lots of chores done- I even managed to fix the lawnmower, mow the lawn and used the chainsaw to cut up some logs. Bobbi got to see grand young'n lots and that seems to make all the difference. Time will tell what this week brings. Maybe the second supposedly concurrent radiation round will begin. It's possible <stifles a stream of shall we say "colorful metaphors?>. We shall see. Keep your eyes peeled for a wig!

March 23, 2008- Easter Sunday. We got up early at the crack of nine and went to Kim's house for the egg thing. While there We somehow decided to frame up a new bathroom in their unfinished upstairs. We framed up a nice 8x9 bathroom and even started hanging sheet rock! Then it was over to the DeWeese family compound for dessert at Johanna and Libby's house with Aunt Lib and Cousin Steve! We celebrated Uncle Phil's birthday together. Then it was home by ten and to bed.

March 22, 2008- Dang, I overwrote the file with and old one and lost my last two days of entries! Silly human. Let's see... Oh yes. Saturday Uncle Roy came to visit. We had a great visit as you can see. Dave, Donna and Jordan came by for a bit and then Beck, Johanna and Libby came by with dessert. Mmmmm- sugar-free strawberry angle food cake.It was delicious. We spent the even regaling ourselves with family stories, news of Tommy, etc. Dave, Donna and Jordan came by too! I later stayed up till 3am playing guitars.... finger booboos made that difficult until this weekend.

March 21, 2008 6:30pm- NEWS FLASH- The chemo pills finally arrived just now. We have our Xeloda! Now, as soon as I feed her something she can take some.
March 21, 2008 2:30pm- Today is the day we start chemo! UPS has called several times confirming we are going to be home. We're sitting here waiting, so I'll keep you posted. Here's a little note from our "guest contributor"- Like the Mistro says "here we wait." We're both good today fiddlin around the house, doing small projects, trying to get a little more organized day by day, so when the radiation & chemo combine to slow me down a bit, we can be ahead of the game. Guess the brain radiation will last another 10 sessions, then the breast radiation will go for 5 days a week for a couple of months, then we'll see what's next. So alls good that stays good eh? LOVE to all and gosh we are so grateful for such a wonderful day today!!

March 20, 2008 7:30am- Progress! Okay, yesterday Bobbi had a "core biopsy" of her breast. Imagine the biggest needle you ever saw (more like a long nail) that's also hollow. That's what they forced into her- not once but four times. The good thing is this will finally clear up the contradictory biopsies we've had. We'll soon know exactly which kind of melanoma Bobbi actually has and whether or not some of the new hormone based chemotherapy drugs can help her. By the way, we are STILL waiting on the chemo drug she has been prescribed to show up. Now- her's a surprise for you- I have a guest to contribute some web "content." Bobbi- take it away!
Oh Wow! So now I can finally get to tell you all how much all your love and caring has helped to get me through this challenge. Thanx thanx Sooo Much! All our family and many many friends have called and sent little gifts and cards, I hope I got a thank you back to each and every one for their support and offers of help. I love you all and am overwhelmed with gratitude for this most wonderfilled outpouring of caring. Hugh (aka Mr. Wonderfull) has been such a cheermonger and helpmate, not to mention, willing to do all the honeydo projects put off for years, just to keep me smiling! All in all it's been a time of blessings, reconsidering priorities, and realizing just how many wonderful people surround us in their embrace. We are truly so so lucky in our lives and our love. So go out there and remember DON'T POSTPONE JOY That's my slogan for today!!! Love you all.

March 19, 2008 2:00pm- I called Bobbi. She's at the radiation center with her mom. She's feeling much better this week. I think we've figured out the right dose of steroids- it keeps the swelling in her brain down but doesn't make her feel too weird. She's sleeping very well now- I know 'cause I watch her all night!

March 18, 2008 12:00pm- Okay- we had a fairly good night last night. Today is CT Scan day. Bobbi will have a CT Scan to pinpoint the locations of tumors and lesions in her breast and lymph nodes. Then she'll get some special tattoos to help aim the radiation she get on her chest wall and arm pit. By tomorrow or Thursday she'll be getting 2 courses of radiation a day. We still don't have her chemo in hand yet. I don't know what the hold up is and I'm trying to not "show my butt" (a fine old mountain term meaning act like a jerk) about it.but I want the stuff delivered now! $#!@$#@! Okay, sorry- there's my butt. I forgot to thank everyone who offered us a place to stay in Durham so we could stay at Duke. Bobbi and I both appreciate it. Maybe I was wrong to let her come back here for treatment, but I don't want to fall into the "second guessing game." Also, Cody Long is helping me write an application to let y'all post messages here for Bobbi to read. Thank you Cody! Keep you eyes here- I hope to have it working by the end of the week.

March 17, 2008 12:00pm- Well- it's a new day, and a full one at that. Today Bobbi starts her first full week of radiation- 2 doses a day in fact, plus the chemo as soon as the drugs are delivered. It was medium rough few days after one treatment- three a day may get kind of tough. One of my co-workers passed this weekend, and that makes it tough to. We know this journey has an ending, but it's hard to think the ride will end before we want it to. Godspeed Joe.
At least we got some chores done so Bobbi doesn't feel like we're wasting time. Anyone have a seamless gutter machine? I hope you like Bobbi's little video. It was hard for her to do that- she's pretty shy. She also hates pictures of herself, so letting me post some of these is not easy for her. I will help if you let her know she really looks great.....

March 16, 2008 7:00pm- We had a pretty good day, which means we got a lot done (thanks Sam). We pruned some trees, cleaned the yard, worked on the kitchen. I even installed a GFI outlet out on the deck to feed some low-volage lighting. Now it's time to relax.... we must have some shrimp leftover here somewhere..... The surprise is there at the top on the right. We'll see what the response is- I hope you like it.
March 16, 2008 1:00pm- We had a great night! We woke up, listened to our favorite radio show Says You! and then went back to sleep for a while. I made a nice brunch- crispy sweet-tater fries, scrambled eggs with crab meat and wheat toast! Yum! Now Bobbi feels good, in fact she says she feels great! Oh no- it's a full day of chores for me, so I gotta go now! I'll post photos later.

March 15, 2008 10:00pm- We had a great afternoon and a great night! "We" did chores of course, but I had help. Donna, Greg and Susan came over and Greg helped me put up crown mould and trim in the dining room. Sam came over and we hung some nice light fixtures over the new granite countertop where Bobbi had me take down the track lights. We supervised David for his birthday and had a wonderful "Frogmore Stew", NYC cheesecake and a movie (The Ghost and the Darkness).
March 15, 2008 8:00am- well, it was not an easy night. Guess what- there really are side effects. So far mostly headache and nausea- both treated with some pharmaceuticals. Not much sleep though, but I imagine we'll both nap a few times today. I need to learn to cook for a cancer patient. Whatta ya think- soft boiled eggs? Pudding? Melba toast? I guess I need to learn to detach from this. Yesterday I thought my head would explode. I hope it just means I really care and not just that I can be a jerk under pressure. Somehow I don't think frozen margaritas are the answer- maybe some breathing exercises and yoga [tequila is not without some appeal tho ;-) ]. Today we have a suprise party for brother Dave (it's a suprise because he does not have internet access yet). A party may be just what the doctor ordered. A "low country boil" is sounding pretty good about now, followed by a heavy dose of guitar playing. It's raining all day anyway. We used to say "too cold to fish and too wet to plow".

March 14, 2008 8:00pm- WOOHOOOO. Okay- stuff is happening. Our failure to communicate is over. Maybe it's just me calming down. Not only did we see both oncologists today, but we started everything! Not only have we gotten our Xeloda kit (no drugs yet- they get shipped overnight) but Bobbi has already been fitted with her full brain face mask. The mask helps alight her skull for whole-brain radiation. Here's the real news- she had her first radiation treatment already! She needs a CT Scan of her chest wall to start radiation on her breast and arm pit (lymph nodes) and that's scheduled for next week. Let me start over. When we met with Dr. Pekal she explained one of the Drs. we are dealing with (Dr. Smathers, the CyberKnife person) is out of town- that's why no call-back. Everyone else was keenly aware that the treatment plan Duke proposed is controversial. When someone has breast cancer they almost always have a mastectomy first. The only reason to delay is to start chemo to shrink the tumor before surgery.... but Bobbi does not have a tumor in her breast and the cancer has already metastasized several times (to the lymph nodes and brain). The cat's out of the bag already and ironically her breast has the least defined cancer. This is some of the many reasons Bobbi's cancer is "atypical". Anyway, we knew the PT Scan was 3 or 4 to 1 likely to show more cancer besides the brain or lymph nodes. It didn't, but "micro tumors" are still likely to be present. That's why radiation first and chemo at the same time. Once the radiation oncologist was sure we were well aware of the risks (too numerous to mention here) and that we were still willing to begin he said "how about today?" So Bobbi has already had her first treatment. We'll probably do another MRI to see if the CyberKnife procedure is called for.

We should get our first batch of Xeloda which costs $1,000 per bottle here ($625 in Canada), or about $24 a day starting next week assuming our insurance will pay for it- cancel that. We'll get it on our credit card if we need to. The doctors also want another biopsy. We've gotten different results from different labs on the same cancerous material. These are what make Bobbi a "triplet" (also called triple-negative). If she's not a triple negative then she could be a candidate for the newer (safer, more effective) chemo treatments. So by the middle of next week she should be having both kinds of radiation AND be started on chemo. I can't tell you how relieved I am- it was like I had to beg the doctors to start treating her (these things take time but you understand I was not exactly emotionally detached from the process). Ironically, it means that my wife being exposed to radioactive cesium isotope nearly one hundred times and having poison coursing through her veins for the next several months means I might sleep better. How did we come to this? Anyway, except for some general fatigue (could be 2 hours sleep each night for the last several weeks) she feels pretty good right now. She is going to loose all her hair.

March 14, 2008 12:00pm- More Keystone Cops antics. That's a little harsh I guess, but Wednesday we had a plan, and now we have to talk about it some more. I am becoming "excited."It seems that our local radiation oncologists may have some resistance to the treatment recommended by the doctors from Duke. It is unusual to start with radiation instead of chemo, but Bobbi's case is "atypical" anyway. Maybe there's an apartment in Durham in our future after all. Stand by for news! We're leaving now.
March 14, 2008 5:00am- Awake. Actually, we've been awake a while. We don't sleep much these days. Yesterday we had a little Keystone Cops act with our doctors.It was 6pm before we heard that any of our local doctors had heard from Duke, and when we did it wasn't the doctors we expected to hear from. Maybe I screwed up and we should have stayed at Duke. I maybe should have asked how soon they could begin treatment if we stayed in Durham and rented an apartment or something. Maybe I'm just wound too tight... and all the time I'm making excuses for the doctors when friends and families ask what's the hold up. I say "oh, they have to transcribe their notes, they have to write reports, all this takes time" and all the while I'm asking myself the same questions. What's the hold up? We also found out the insurance company assigned us a "case manager". To me "case manager" sounds like english for "no spendum so much wampum." I gotta get some sleep- maybe I'm not thinking clearly. Doh!- I just noticed the "hit counter" is at 1184. It was 900 yesterday, thank you all for caring. We love you.

March 13, 2008 6:00am- We're getting ready to hit the road. Today is a busy day. We have to call all of our area doctors involved in Bobbi's care and coordinate our plans based on the recommendations of Drs. Marcom and Prosnitz. Tomorrow we start chemo! At least, that was the plan. We'll see what Dr. Pekal gets put together for us.

March 12, 2008 6:00pm- Okay, we're at Bobbi's sister Sarah's house now and I have a chance to think. So, here it is with the bark off. Bobbi's cancer is very advanced- it has metastasized already, so the doctors (Dr. Marcom and Dr Prosnitz) don't see the benefit of a mastectomy at this time, especially since the lesion in her breast is so diffuse. That sounds to me like there's not enough benefit to make it worth the discomfort. On the other hand we got a plan! We're going to attack the tumor remnants right away with both whole brain and "sterostatic" radiation. We'll do radiation to the breast and lymph nodes at the same time and start chemo at the same time. If the lesion in her breast becomes better defined (after radiation and chemo) we may have a mastectomy at some later time. So far everybody consistantly remarks on how incredibly health Bobbi is (except for the cancer things)- no BP, diabetes, cardiac, arthritis, etc etc. That means that with some aggresive initial treatment we might be able to get her and keep her healthy a long, long time.
March 12, 2008 2:00pm- OMG! Okay, well, we've seen four doctors now. Where to begin..... I'll write in detail later, for now- we have a diagnosis of stage 4 Inflammatory breast cancer. The consensus is we should treat the brain ASAP with full-brain radiation followed by "sterotactic" radiation (like CyberKnife) and radiate the breast and lymph nodes at the same time with concurrent chemotherapy. Bobbi's gonna get blitzed with treatment! More later- gotta hit the road.....

March 12, 2008 9:00am- We're Here! Okay, we're through "intake" and we're waiting to see the doctors. This place is packed! There's at least 3 dozen people waiting to be seen by someone...That's a good sign, isn't it?Anyway, the girls are reading, but I'm watching Regis and Kelly! LOL- just kidding. I'm working on the web page!
March 12, 2008 5:00am- We're up a little early I guess, neither of us can sleep. We'll get dressed and head on over to the school. We'll keep you posted.... I don't really know what to expect today. It's not like these people will have a magic bullet or anything. I'll be supervised if we hear anything we haven't heard from Dr. Pekal already. We'll see.

March 11, 2008 8:00pm- We're in Cornelius, NC and we're in bed early (maybe we can even sleep). Tomorrow is a busy day, and I guess we're both pretty nervous about it (and everything else). At least we got all our xrays, sonograms, mamograms and scans pretty easily. Thank you staffers! I've uploaded the pictures from last week before she had her staples removed. Makes it seem pretty real....
March 11, 2008 8:00am- Well, we're packing to go visit Duke. We don't know if it's just going to be a consultation or if we'll actually be staying a while. Please stay tuned! In the meantime we have to gather records from 3 MRIs, 2 PET Scans, 2 mamograms, a sonogram, several xrays and all the pathology reports.

March 10, 2008 5:00pm- We're Going To Duke! It's all set up and we're leaving tomorrow to go to Duke University Medical Center and consult with Dr. P. Kelly Marcom! I've also started a team to walk in Atlanta in October for the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk. The team is called The Knocka Walkas and we're going to raise $25k to beat this terrible disease. Forget the whales- save the hooters!!!! Please consider joining our team!
March 10, 2008 10:00am- It's Monday and we're still waiting to here. Hey- I didn't do a web page update and nobody called to complain! LOL- thanks for giving me the day off. Our good friends Casey and Jill and their kids came over Friday night for supper, and cousin Becky and her husband Dr. Dick Olsen came over Saturday night. We had a lovely time with everyone. Dick was head of MAHEC and a board member of the local hospital, so he was kind enough to offer some insight into our potential courses of treatment. Mostly he confirmed what I had already figured- that our area (WNC) has some of the finest medical facilities anywhere. He even said that while he was at Chapel Hill that if he ever got sick his family was to get him to Asheville! I hope you all are assured that Bobbi is in good hands. The "study" we're trying to get into at Duke is specifically for the kind of cancer Bobbi has- "Triple Negative." It basically means she does not have the kind of cancer that responds to any of the new hormone-based drug treatments. There are other "protocols" being developed though, like the one at Duke University. This is the same trial our good friend Dr. Jim Turpin told us about, so I feel good about getting Bobbi into it..... except of course there are always risks.....

March 8, 2008 10:00am- Well, life goes on and today is another day. We're still waiting to hear if we can get Bobbi into the study at Duke. I've also reached out to our friend Dr. Ralph Loomis for advice. Ralph is the neurosurgeon who fixed Billy Graham's brain. He's also a fellow Scouter and a really good guy. Last night I cooked Bobbi a nice meal (pork loin stuffed with bacon and mushrooms), and this morning I made omlettes. I can not believe a self-reliant person like myself is reduced to cooking and chauffeuring. I must give my precious angel over to the care of others. At least I'm not alone- we are so blessed with loved ones (that's you all).

March 7, 2008 4:00pm- Well, we saw Dr. Pekal. Where to begin? I guess it comes down to the fact that this is a stage 4 cancer, so words like "incurable" should not be surprising. Still, it's pretty devastating... So- what to do? Steven Stills said it best- "Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but to carry on." One of our dilemmas- the breast cancer is growing slow and the brain tumor is dangerous, even if most of it is gone... do we start chemo for the breast or delay the chemo and go for radiation therapy for the brain? Well, what we're trying to do is get an appointment at Duke University Medical Center with Dr. P. Kelly Marcom. Duke has a number of studies for therapy of breast cancer patients who are "triple negative". Hopefully we'll go there Tuesday and Wednesday and meet with their "multi discipline" care group. To do this we are postponing starting Bobbi's chemo from Monday to next Friday. If Duke tells us Bobbi is a good candidate for the study then she can start right away. If not a pretty aggressive chemo regiment can then proceed on Friday. We reckon the potential benefits outweigh the risk of a four day delay. That's probably all I can say right now except I still think Dr. Pekal is great. She's proven time and again she's willing to step on more than a few toes to get the best care for Bobbi.
March 7, 2008 12:00pm- We're going to meet with Dr. Pekal, our medical oncologist, and discuss our chemotherapy schedule. Dr. Pekal is another of our heroes (as are all the staff at Cancer Care of WNC). She's not only been pretty right-on as far as suggesting what we were dealing will and how to deal with is, but she's also working the HMO system to get Bobbi the treatment she needs without a lot of red tape. Thank you Dr. Pekal! The first round of chemo will hopefully define and reduce the existing lesions before the surgery. We'll keep you posted!

March 6, 2008 4:30pm- We got the staples out. Dr. Rhoton says Bobbi is healing well, but he doesn't want to schedule CyberKnife until next week. Tomorrow we'll get our initial chemo schedule- keep your fingers crossed.
March 6, 2008, 7:00am- Well, today's the day "we" get our staples out. We'll meet with Dr. Rhoton, have the staples taken out and schedule the CyberKnife procedure. What on earth do people without insurance do? I'm so grateful we have insurance. Three days in the hospital and surgery and our bills over $50k not including the neurosurgeon or several MRIs and PETScans the week before. What on earth do people without insurance do? I think it's a shame the vice president didn't work for an HMO instead of Halliburton. What on earth do people without insurance do? I'm so grateful to have really good insurance.

March 5th, 2008- A not-so rainy day I hope. Soon Kim will be here to take her mom shopping. "Our" blood sugar was a little high today, so out came the insulin. Maybe that's because we just took our one steroid of the day, but we're down to one pain killer (1/2 twice a day) and the pain is manageable so that's progress. Tomorrow the staples come out and we have some quality time with "The Tumor Terminator". Soon we'll begin CyberKnife removal of the remaining tumor. By the way- thank you to all who sent checks to the CIHA mamogram fund. Let's make our mantra "have you had a mamogram lately?" (even the men!) Casey called me and asked why I didn't put a place on the page for people to post somments to Bobbi. Good idea- I'll put my thinking cap on.

March 4th, 2008- A rainy day. So now we have a plan. We see the neurosurgeon on Thursday and the medical oncologist of Friday. Bobbi is healing well. She's reduced both the steroids and the pain killers (and also has needed less insulin). Last night our nephews helped us bring home and put in her grandmother's china cabinet. It's beautiful, and it looks like it was made to go with the dining room table my aunt gave us. Donna (Bobbi's mom) should be there to spend the afternoon with Bobbi. For right now- these few days all is right with the world.

March 3rd, 10am- Bobbi continues to improve. We've adjusted her medications as we follow a rigid regiment. The steroids she took to define the tumor are also the ones she is taking to keep her brain from swelling following the surgery. The down side is that they cause her blood sugar to skyrocket (it hit 291 once). The good news is that as we have lowered her dosage her blood sugar has got down accordingly. This morning was the first morning in weeks I haven't had to give her a shot of insulin. To celebrate I took her picture. She hates it, but I think she's gorgeous!

March 2nd, 2008 9:00pm- The end of a good but long weekend. Bobbi's kept me busy! I've taken two truckloads of my precious treasure (I don't know why she thinks it's all junk) to the dumpsters. I then drove her (she us not allowed to drive or be alone for a while) to Asheville to go shopping at Michael's Crafts. Lucky for me they close at 6pm. We then went for a decadent buffalo burger at Fuddruckers (mui romantico) and then came home.

March 1, 2008- A day at home! How do women who've had brain surgery spend their weekend? They make their do projects! Kim came over to help us and she was able to give Bobbi a new haircut! Bobbi now sports a "pixie cut" and she looks fabu! The swelling gives her a slight double chin and she's self conscious of it, and an 8" long 4" wide bandage on the back of her skull doesn't help, but I'd think she looked good in the was a big bolt holding on her head!

View the February entries HERE.

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